so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
