I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I would fuck him just for his dog
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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