i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize