you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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