The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
