It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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