:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
