So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
