Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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