so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
