i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
