people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
