He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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