im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
how drunk are you?
Several
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
