Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
