I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
