Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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