During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
