If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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