She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize