just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
