Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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