We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
