she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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