She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
