She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
