That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
