Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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