we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Panties = found
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