he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize