You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
