I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The air was thick with penises
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
