I cockslap morals
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I love you. Go after that dick
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
