one two three fourrrrnication!
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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