the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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