you have to choose: penises or morals?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He shit in the fireplace
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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