Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
