Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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