he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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