no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize