By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
