why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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