I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
