so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
