I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
