So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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