I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
