I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
