I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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