Barsexuality is the new black.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
