just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
