something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
