if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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