You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
