Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
