sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
