one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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