plz talk dirty to me
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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