This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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