It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
