Kareoke will never be a sober sport
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
