he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
third nipple confirmed
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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